MAN OF LA MANCHA (I,Don Quixote)

CERVANTES
May I set the stage? I shall impersonate a man.
Come, enter into my imagination and see him!
His name... Alonso Quijana... a country squire,
no longer young... bony, hollow-faced... eyes
that burn with the fire of inner vision. Being
retired, he has much time for books. He studies
them from morn to night and often through the
night as well. And all he reads oppresses him...
fills him with indignation at man's murderous
ways toward man. And he conceives the strangest
project ever imagined... to become a knight-errant
and sally forth into the world to right all
wrongs. No longer shall he be plain Alonso Quijana...
but a dauntless knight known as -
Don Quixote de La Mancha!

DON QUIXOTE
Hear me now
Oh thou bleak and unbearable world,
Thou art base and debauched as can be;
And a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled
Now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!
I am I, Don Quixote,
The Lord of La Mancha, �
My destiny calls and I go,
And the wild winds of fortune
Will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow.
Whithersoever they blow,
Onward to glory I go!

SANCHO PANZA
I'm Sancho! Yes, I'm Sancho!
I'll follow my master till the end.
I'll tell all the world proudly
I'm his squire! I'm his friend!

DON QUIXOTE
Hear me, heathens and wizards
And serpents of sin!
All your dastardly doings are past,
For a holy endeavor is now to begin
And virtue shall triumph at last!

(Don Quixote and Sancho Panza mount their horses and set out along a road)

DON QUIXOTE
I am I, Don Quixote,
The Lord of la Mancha,
My destiny calls and I go,
And the wild winds of fortune
Will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow!
SANCHO
I'm Sancho! Yes, I'm Sancho!
I'll follow my master till the end.
I'll tell all the world proudly
I'm his squire! I'm his friend!

DON QUIXOTE, SANCHO
Whithersoever they blow,
Onward to glory I {we} go!

At an Inn full of rough men - Muleteers - and rough women


IT'S ALL THE SAME

MULETEERS
Food! Wine! Aldonza! Aldonza!
I come for love, I come for love,
I come to Aldonza for love!

ALDONZA
One pair of arms is like another
I don't know why or who's to blame,
I'll go with you or with your brother
It's all the same, it's all the same.
This I have learned:
That when the light's out,
No man will bum with special flame,
You'll prove to me before the night's out,
You're all the same, you're all the same.

So do not talk to me of love,
I'm not a fool with starry eyes,
Just put your money in my hand,
And you will get what money buys!
One pair of arms is like another,
I don't know why or who's to blame,
I'll go with you or with your brother
It's all the same, it's all the same.
This I have learned:
That when the light's out,
No man will bum with special flame,
You'll prove to me before the night's out,
You're all the same, you're all the same.

Oh, I have seen too many beds,
But I have known too little rest,
And I have loved too many men
With hatred burning in my breast.
I do not like you or your brother,
I do not like the life I live,
But I am me, I am Aldonza.
And what I give, I choose to give.
One pair of arms is like another
It's all the same, it's all the same!

MULETEERS
Aldonza!


DULCINEA

DON QUIXOTE
(enters the inn)
Sweet lady... fair virgin...

(Don Quixote averts his eyes worshipfully)
I dare not gaze full upon thy countenance
Lest I be blinded by beauty. But I implore
Thee - speak once thy name.

ALDONZA
Aldonza.

DON QUIXOTE
My lady jests.

ALDONZA
Aldonza!

DON QUIXOTE
The name of a kitchen-scullion... or perhaps my lady's serving-maid?

ALDONZA
I told you my name! Now get out of the way.
(She clears past him to the table.)

DON QUIXOTE
(Smiling, sill keeping his eyes averted)
Did my lady think to put me to a test?
Ah, sweet sovereign of my captive heart. I shall
not fail thee, for I know...

I have dreamed thee too long,
Never seen thee or touched thee.
But known thee with all of my heart.
Half a prayer, half a song,
Thou hast always been with me,
Though we have been always apart.

Dulcinea... Dulcinea...
I see heaven when I see thee, Dulcinea,
And thy name is like a prayer
An angel whispers... Dulcinea... Dulcinea!

If I reach out to thee,
Do not tremble and shrink
From the touch of my hand on thy hair.
Let my fingers but see
Thou art warm and alive,
And no phantom to fade in the air.

Dulcinea... Dulcinea...
I have sought thee, sung thee,
Dreamed thee, Dulcinea!

Now I've found thee,
And the world shall know thy glory,
Dulcinea... Dulcinea!

(The scene reverts to the prison where Cervantes tells of Don Quixote's family and friends who are worried about his mental state)

I'M ONLY THINKING OF HIM

ANTONIA (Don Quixote's niece)
I'm only thinking of him,
I'm only thinking of him,
Whatever I may do or say;
I'm only thinking of him!
In my body; it's well known,
There is not one selfish bone...
I'm only thinking and worrying about him!

I've been told he's chasing dragons
And I fear it may be true
If my groom should hear about it.
Heaven knows what he will do!
Oh, I dearly love my uncle,
But for what he's done to me,
I would like to take and lock him up
And throw away the key!
But if I do... but if I do...
There is one thing
That I swear will still be true...
I'm only thinking of him;

PADRE
I know, I know my dear;

ANTONIA
I'm only thinking of him;

PADRE
Of course you are, my dear;

ANTONIA
I'm only thinking and worrying about him.

PADRE
I understand.

HOUSEKEEPER
I'm only thinking of him,
I'm only thinking of him,
Whatever I may do or say,
I'm only thinking of him!
In the very heart of me
There is Christian charity
I'm only thinking and worrying about him!

Oh, I think he's been too lonely,
Living years without a spouse,
So when he returns
I fear I may have trouble in the house;
For they say he seeks a lady
Who his own true love shall be;
God forbid that in his madness
He should ever think it's me!
If he should try I'll surely die,
And I will grimly
Guard my honor as I cry...
I'm only thinking of him;
I'm only thinking of him;
I'm only thinking and worrying about him.

ANTONIA
Woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe,
Woe, woe, woe, woe, woe.

PADRE
I know, I know, my dear;
Of course you are, my dear;
I understand.

HOUSEKEEPER
Woe!

ANTONIA
Woe!

PADRE
They re only thinking of him,
They re only thinking of him,
How saintly is their plaintive plea...
They're only thinking of him!
What a comfort, to be sure,
That their motives are so pure...
As they go thinking and worrying about him!

ANTONIA, HOUSEKEEPER
Woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, etc.

At the inn

THE MISSIVE

SANCHO
(reciting Don Quixote's words)
"Most lovely sov'reign and highborn lady..."

ALDONZA
Ho.

SANCHO
"The heart of this,
Thy vassal knight faints for thy favor"

ALDONZA
Ha.

SANCHO
"Oh, fairest of the fair,
Purest of the pure,
Incomp'rable Dulcinea."

ALDONZA
That again. My name is Aldonza!

SANCHO
My master calls you Dulcinea.

ALDONZA
Why?

SANCHO
I don't know but I can tell you from experience
that knights have their own language for everything
and it's better not to ask questions because it
only gets you into trouble

ALDONZA
Hm.

SANCHO
"I beg thee grant that I may kiss
The nethermost hem of thy garment..."

ALDONZA
Kiss my which?

SANCHO
If you keep interrupting, the whole
thing will be out of my head.

ALDONZA
Well, what does he want?

SANCHO
I'm getting to it!
"And send to me a token of thy fair esteem
That I may carry as my standard into battle."

ALDONZA
Hm, what kind of token?

SANCHO
He says generally it's a silken scarf.

ALDONZA
(rising wiping her bowl with a filthy rag)
Your master's a crackbrain!
I'll give him a token. Here
(flings the rag)

SANCHO
But my lady... That's a rag!

ALDONZA
Don't you 'my lady' me too or I'll crack you
like an egg! Wait a minute. Come here. Come here.
Sit. Sit. Why do you follow him?

SANCHO
Oh, that's easy to explain, I... I...

ALDONZA
Why?

SANCHO
I'm telling you. It's because... because...

ALDONZA
Why?


I REALLY LIKE HIM

SANCHO
I like him, I really like him.
Tear out my fingernails one by one, I like him!
I don't have a very good reason,
Since I've been with him,
Cuckoo-nuts have been in season...
But there's nothing I can do,
Chop me up for onion stew,
Still I'll yell to the sky
Though I can't tell you why,
That I like him!

ALDONZA
It doesn't make any sense!

SANCHO
That's because you're not a squire.

ALDONZA
All right, I'm not a squire. ]
Now does a squire squire?

SANCHO
Well, I ride behind him... and he fights.
Then I pick him up off the ground, and...

ALDONZA
But, what do you get out of it?

SANCHO
What do I get? Oh! Why, already I've gotten...
I've gotten...

ALDONZA
You've got nothing! Why do you do it?

SANCHO
I like him, I really like him.
Pluck me naked as a scalded chicken,
I like him!
Don't ask me for why or wherefore,
'Cause I don't have a single good
"Because" or "therefore!"
You can barbecue my nose.
Make a giblet of my toes,
Make me freeze, make me fry.
Make me sigh, make me cry.
Still I'll yell to the sky,
Though I can't tell you why.
That I like him!


WHAT DOES HE WANT OF ME?

ALDONZA
Why does he do the things he does?
Why does he do these things?
Why does he march
Through that dream that he's in,
Covered with glory and rusty old tin?
Why does he live in a world that can't be,
And what does he want of me...
What does he want of me?

Why does he say the things he says?
Why does he say these things?
"Sweet Dulcinea" and "missive" and such,
"Nethermost hem of thy garment I touch,"
No one can be what he wants me to be,
Oh, what does he want of me...
What does he want of me?

Doesn't he know
He'll be laughed at wherever he'll go?
And why I'm not laughing myself...
I don't know.

Why does he want the things he wants?
Why does he want these things?
Why does he batter at walls that won't break?
Why does he give when it's natural to take?
Where does he see all the good he can see,
And what does he want of me?
What does he want of me?


BARBER'S SONG

DON QUIXOTE
Someone approaches...!

SANCHO
Just an ordinary traveler.

DON QUIXOTE
(pointing off)
But see what he wears upon his head.
Get thee to a place of hiding, Sancho.

SANCHO
Oh, dear!

BARBER
(from a distance)
Oh, I am a little barber
And I go my merry way
With my razor and my leeches
I can always earn my pay



Though your chin be smooth as satin,
You will need me soon I know
For the Lord protects his barbers,
And He makes the stubble grow.

If I slip when I am shaving you
And cut you to the quick,
You can use me as a doctor
'Cause I also heal the sick.


GOLDEN HELMET OF MAMBRINO

DON QUIXOTE
Hand over that golden helmet!

BARBER
But this is a shaving basin!

DON QUIXOTE
Shaving basin! Know thou not what this really is?
The Golden Helmet of Mambrino!
When worn by one of noble heart, it renders
him invulnerable to all wounds!
(to the Barber whacking the barrel with his sword)
Hand it over!

Thou Golden Helmet of Mambrino,
With so illustrious a past,
Too long hast thou been lost to glory,
Th'art rediscovered now at last!
Golden Helmet of Mambrino
There can be no hat like thee!
Thou and I now, ere I die now,
Will make golden history!

BARBER
(aside to Sancho)
I can hear the cuckoo singing
In the cuckooberry tree...

SANCHO
(aside to Barber)
If he says that that's a helmet,
I suggest that you agree...

BARBER
(aside to Sancho)
But he'll find it is not gold
And will not make him bold and brave...

SANCHO
(aside to Barber)
Well, at least he'll find it useful
If he ever needs a shave!

DON QUIXOTE
Thou Golden Helmet of Mambrino,
Thy deeds the world will not forget,
Now Don Quixote de La Mancha,
Will bring thee greater glory yet!

DON QUIXOTE, BARBER, SANCHO, MULETEERS
Golden Helmet of Mambrino
There can be no hat like thee.

DON QUIXOTE
Thou and I now, ere I die now,
Will make golden history!

BARBER, SANCHO, MULETEERS
Golden Helmet of Mambrino
Will make golden history!