ACT II PROLOGUE: SO HAPPY

NARRATOR
Once upon a time-
Later-

CINDERELLA
I wish...

NARRATOR
In that same far-off kingdom

CINDERELLA
More than anything...

NARRATOR
Lived a young princess,

CINDERELLA
More than life...

NARRATOR
The lad Jack,

CINDERELLA
More than footmen...

JACK
I wish...

NARRATOR
And the Baker with his family

BABY
Waaah!

JACK
No, I miss...

CINDERELLA & BAKER
I wish...

BABY
Waaah!

JACK
More then anything...

CINDERELLA, JACK, BAKER
More than the moon...

BAKER'S WIFE
There, there...

CINDERELLA
I wish to sponsor a Festival

BABY
Waaah!

BAKER
More then life...

JACK
I miss...

CINDERELLA
The time has come for a Festival...

BABY
Waaah!

BAKER'S WIFE
Shh...

BAKER
More than riches...

CINDERELLA
And a ball...

JACK
I miss my kingdom up in the sky

CINDERELLA & BAKER
More than anything...

BAKER'S WIFE
I wish we had more room...

BAKER
Another room...

NARRATOR
But despite some minor inconveniences, they were all quite content...

CINDERELLA
I never thought I'd wed a Prince...

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
I never thought I'd find perfection...

BOTH
I never thought I would be so happy!

CINDERELLA
Not an unhappy moment since...

JACK & MOTHER
I didn't think we'd be this rich...

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Not a conceivable objection...

BAKER & WIFE
I never thought we'd have a baby...

CINDERELLA, PRINCE, JACK, MOTHER
I didn't know I could be so happy!

BAKER & WIFE
I'm so happy!

STEPMOTHER
Happy now, Happy hence, Happy ever after-

FLORINDA, LUCINDA, STEPMOTHER
We're so happy you're so happy! Just as long as you stay happy, We'll stay happy!...

CINDERELLA & PRINCE
Not one row...

JACK'S MOTHER
Pots of pence...

JACK
With my cow...

BAKER & WIFE
Little gurgles....

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Darling, I must go now...

JACK'S MOTHER
We should really sell it

BAKER
Where's the cheesecloth?

ALL (except Baker)
Wishes may bring problems, Such that you regret them.

ALL
Better that, though, Than to never get them...

CINDERELLA
I'm going to be a perfect wife!

JACK
I'm going to be a perfect son!

BAKER'S WIFE & JACK'S MOTHER
I'm going to be a perfect mother!

BAKER
I'm going to be a perfect father! I'm so happy!

CINDERELLA, JACK, MOTHER, BAKER'S WIFE
I'm going to see that he/she Is so happy!

ALL
I never though I'd love my life! I would have settled for another!

CINDERELLA
Then to become a wife...

JACK & MOTHER
Then to be set for life...

BAKER & WIFE
Then to beget a child...

ALL
That fortune smiled... I'm so hap-!

(A loud rumbling noise is followed by an enormous crash. The Baker's house caves in. He is caught underneath the rubble as his Wife runs forward with their baby. The Witch enters.)

BAKER
Have you done this to our house?

WITCH
Always thinking of yourself! Look at my garden.

BAKER
Destroyed!

BAKER'S WIFE
Who could do such a thing?

BAKER
Do you think it was a bear?

WITCH
A bear? Bears are sweet. Besides, you ever see a bear with forty-foot feet?

BAKER'S WIFE
Dragon?

WITCH
No scorch marks, Usually they're linked

BAKER
Manticore?

WITCH
Imaginary

BAKER & WIFE
Griffin?

WITCH
Extinct

BAKER
Giant?

WITCH
Possible. Very, very, possible...

NARRATOR
More than possible. Their fears would prove to be well founded.

BAKER
Into the woods,
It's always when
You think at last
You're through, and then
Into the woods you go again
To take another journey

BAKER'S WIFE
Into the woods,
The weather's clear,
We've been before,
We've naught to fear...
Into the woods, away from here-

JACK
Into the woods to find a giant-!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Into the woods to Grandmother's house...

BAKER
Into the woods,
The path is straight,
No reason then
To hesitate-

BAKER'S WIFE
Into the woods,
It's not too late,
It's just another journey...

CINDERELLA
Into the woods
But not too long:
The skies are strange,
The winds are strong.
Into the woods to see what's wrong...

JACK
Into the woods-
To slay the giant!

BAKER'S WIFE
Into the woods-
To shield the child...

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
To flee the winds...

BAKER
To find a future...

BAKER'S WIFE
To shield...

JACK
To slay...

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
To flee...

BAKER
To find...

CINDERELLA
To fix...

BAKER'S WIFE
To hide...

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
To move...

JACK
To battle...

CINDERELLA
To see what the trouble is...

AGONY

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
High in a tower-
Like yours was, but higher-
A beauty asleep.
All round the tower
A thicket of briar
A hundred feet deep.

Agony!
No frustration mor keen,
When the one thing you want
Is a thing that you've not even seen.

RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
I found a casket
Entirely of glass-
No, it's unbreakable.
Inside- don't ask it-
A maiden, alas,
Just as unwakable-

BOTH
What unmistakable agony!
Is the way always barred?

RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
She has skin white as snow-

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Did you learn her name?

RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
No,
There's a dwarf standing guard.

BOTH
Agony!
Such that Princes must weep!
Always in thrall most
To anything almost,
Or something asleep.

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
If it were not for the thicket-

RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
A thicket's no trick.
Is it thick?

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
It's the thickest.
RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
The quickest
Is pick it
Apart with a stick-

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Yes, but even one prick-
It's my thing about blood.

RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
Well, it's sick!

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
It's no sicker
Than your thing with dwarves.

RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
Dwarfs.

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Dwarfs...

RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
Dwarfs are every upsetting.

BOTH
Not forgetting
The tasks unacheivable,
Mountains unscalable-
If it's conceivable
But unavailable,
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-
Agony!

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Misery!

BOTH
Not to know what you miss.

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
While they lie there for years-

RAPUNZEL'S PRINCE
And you cry on their biers-

BOTH
What unbearable bliss!
Agony
That can cut like a knife!
Ah, well, back to my wife...

LAMENT

WITCH
This is the world I meant.
Couldn't you listen?
Couldn't you stay content,
Safe behind walls,
As I
Could not?

Now you know what's out there in the world.
No one can prepare you for the world,
Even I.
How could I, who loved you as you were?
How could I have shielded you from her
Or them...

No matter what you say,
Children won't listen.
No matter what you know,
Children refuse
To learn.

Guide them along the way,
Still they won't listen.
Children can only grow
From something you love
To something you lose...

ANY MOMENT

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Anything can happen in the woods.
May I kiss you-?
Any moment we could be crushed.

BAKER'S WIFE
uh-

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Don't feel rushed.

BAKER'S WIFE
This is ridiculous,
What am I doing here?
I'm in the wrong story.

Wait one moment, please! We can't do this!

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Of course, you're right. How foolish.
Foolishness can happen in the woods.
Once again, please-
Let your hesitations be hushed.
Any moment, big or small,
Is a moment, after all.
Seize the moment, skies may fall
Any moment.

Days are made of moments,
All are worth exploring.
Many kinds of moments-
None is worth ignoring.
All we have are moments,
Memories for storing.
One would be so boring...

BAKER'S WIFE
But this is not right!

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
Right and wrong don't matter in the woods,
Only feelings.
Let us meet the moment unblushed.
Life is often so unpleasant-
You must know that, as a peasant-
Best to take the moment present
As a present for the moment.

I must leave you.

BAKER'S WIFE
Why?

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
The Giant.

BAKER'S WIFE
Will we find each other in the woods again?

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE
This was just a moment in the woods.
Our moment,
Shimmering and lovely and sad.
Leave the moment, just be glad
For the moment that we had.
Every moment is of moment
When you're in the woods...
Goodbye.

MOMENTS IN THE WOODS

BAKER'S WIFE
What was that?

Was that me?
Was that him?
Did a Prince really kiss me?
And kiss me?
And kiss me?
And did I kiss him back?

Was it wrong?
Am I mad?
Is that all?
Does he miss me?
Was he suddenly
Getting bored with me?

Wake up! Stop dreaming.
Stop prancing about the woods.
It's not beseeming.
What is it about the woods?

Back to life, back to sense,
Back to child, back to husband,
You can't live in the woods.
There are vows, there are ties,
There are needs, there are standards,
There are shouldn'ts and shoulds.

Why not both instead?
There's the answer, if you're clever:
have a child for warmth,
And a Baker for bread,
And a Prince for whatever-
Never!
It's these woods.

Face the facts, find the boy,
Join the group, stop the Giant-
Just get out of these woods.
Was that him? yes it was.
Was that me? No it wasn't,
Just a trick of the woods.

Just a moment,
One peculiar passing moment...
Must it all be either less or more,
Either plain or grand?
Is it always "or"?
Is it never "and"?
That's what woods are for:
For those moments in the woods...

Oh. if life were made of moments,
Even now and then a bad one-!
But if life were only moments,
Then you'd never know you had one.

First a Witch, then a child,
Then a Prince, then a moment-
Who can live in the woods?
And to get what you wish,
Only just for a moment-
These are dangerous woods...

Let the moment go...
Don't forget it for a moment, though.
Just remembering you've had and "and",
When you're back to "or",
Makes the "or" mean more
Than it did before.
Now I understand-

And it's time to leave the woods.

YOUR FAULT

BAKER (To Jack)
It's because of you there's a Giant in our midst
and my Wife is dead!

JACK
But it isn't my fault,
I was given those beans!
You persuaded me to trade away
My cow for beans!
And without those beans
There'd have been no stalk
To get up to the Giants
In the first place!

BAKER
Wait a minute, magic beans
For a cow so old
That you had to tell
A lie to sell
It, which you told!
Were they worthless beans?
Were they oversold?
Oh, and tell us who
Persuaded you
To steal that gold.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Jack)
See, it's your fault.

JACK
No!

BAKER
So it's your fault...

JACK
No!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Yes, it is!

JACK
It's not!

BAKER
It's true.

JACK
Wait a minute-
But I only stole the gold
To get my
Cow back from you!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Baker)
So it's your fault!

JACK
Yes!

BAKER
No, it isn't!
I'd have kept those beans,
But our house was cursed.
She made us get the cow to get
The curse reversed!

WITCH
It's you father's fault
That the curse got placed
And the place got cursed
In the first place!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Oh.
Then it's his fault!

WITCH
So?

CINDERELLA
It was his fault...

JACK
No.

BAKER
Yes, it is,
It's his.

CINDERELLA
I guess...

JACK
Wait a minute, though-
I chopped down the beanstalk-
Right? That's clear.
But without any beanstalk,
Then what's queer
Is how did the second Giant get down here
In the first place?
Second place...

CINDERELLA
Yes!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
How?

BAKER
Hmmm...

JACK
Well,
Who had the other bean?

BAKER
The other bean?

CINDERELLA
The other bean?

JACK (to BAKER)
You pocketed the other bean.

BAKER
I didn't!
Yes I did.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
So it's your-!

BAKER
No, it isn't,
'Cause I gave it to my Wife!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
So it's her-!

BAKER
No, it isn't!

CINDERELLA
Then whose is it?

BAKER (To Cinderella)
Wait a minute!
She exchanged that bean
To ontain your shoe,
So the one who knows what happened
To that bean is you!

CINDERELLA
You mean that old bean-
That your Wife-? Oh, dear-
But I never knew,
And so I threw-
Well, don't look here!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
So it's your fault!

CINDERELLA
But-

JACK
See, it's her fault-

CINDERELLA
But-

JACK
And it isn't mine at all!

BAKER (To Cinderella)
But what?

CINDERELLA (To Jack)
Well, if you hadn't gone
Back up again-

JACK
We were needy-

CINDERELLA
You were greedy!
Did you need that hen?

JACK
But I got it for my Mother-!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
So it's her fault then!

CINDERELLA
Yes? And what the harp
In the third place?

BAKER
The harp- yes!

JACK
She went and dared me to!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
I dared you to?

JACK
You dared me to!
She said that I was scared-

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Me?

JACK
To.
She dared me!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
No, I didn't!

BAKER, CINDERELLA, JACK
So it's your fault!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Wait a minute-!

CINDERELLA
If you hadn't dared him to-

BAKER (To Jack)
And you had left the harp alone,
We wouldn't be in trouble
In the first place!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella)
Well, if you hadn't thrown away the bean
In the first place-!

CINDERELLA
Well, if she hadn't raised them in the first place-!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella)
It was your fault!

JACK (to WITCH)
Yes, if you hadn't raised them in the first place-!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD & BAKER (To Witch)
Right! It's you raised them in the first place-!

CINDERELLA
You raised the beans in the first place!

JACK
It's your fault!

CINDERELLA, JACK, BAKER, LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
You're responsible!
You're the one to blame!
It's your fault!

LAST MIDNIGHT

WITCH
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It's the last midnight.
It's the last wish.
It's the last midnight,
Soon it will be boom-
Squish!
Told a little lie,
Stole a little gold,
Broke a little vow,
Did you?

Had to get your Prince,
Had to get your cow,
Had to get your wish,
Doesn't matter how-
Anyway, it doesn't matter now.

It's the last midnight,
It's the boom-
Splat!
Nothing but a vast midnight.
Everybody smashed flat!

Nothing we can do.
Not exactly true:
We can always give her the boy...

No?
No, of course what really matters
Is the blame,
Somebody to blame.
Fine, if that's the thing you enjoy,
Placing the blame,
If that's the aim,
Give me the blame-
Just give me the boy.

THE OTHERS
No!

WITCH
No?

You're so nice.
You're not good,
You're not bad,
You're just nice.
I'm not good,
I'm not nice,
I'm just right.
I'm the Witch.
You're the world.

I'm the hitch.
I'm what no one believes,
I'm the Witch.
You're all liars and theives,
Like his father,
Like his son will be, too-
Oh, why bother?
You'll just do what you do.

It's the last midnight,
So, goodbye all.
Coming at you fast, midight-
Soon you'll see the sky fall.

Here, you want a bean?
Have another bean.
Beans were made for making you rich!
Plant them and they soar-
Here, you want some more?
Listen to the roar...
Giants by the score-!
Oh well, you can blame another witch.

It's the last midnight.
It's the last verse.
Now, before it's past midnight,
I'm leaving you my last curse:

I'm leaving you alone.
You can tend the garden, it's yours.
Separate and alone,
Everybody down on all fours.

All right, mother, when?
Lost the beans again!
Punish me the way you did then!
Give me claws and a hunch,
Just away from this bunch
And the gloom
And the doom
And the boom
Cruuunch!

NO MORE

BAKER
No more questions,
Please.
No more tests.
Comes the day you say, "What for?"
Please- no more.

MYSTERIOUS MAN
They disappoint,
They disappear,
They die but they don't...

BAKER
What?

MYSTERIOUS MAN
They disappoint
In turn, I fear.
Forgive, though, they won't...

BAKER
No more riddles.
No more jests.
No more curses you can't undo,
Left by fathers you never knew.
No more quests.
No more feelings.
Time to shut the door
Just- no more.

MYSTERIOUS MAN
Running away- let's do it,
Free from the ties that bind.
No more depair
Or burdens to bear
Out there in the yonder.

Running away- go to it.
Where did you have in mind?
Have to take care:
Unless there's a "where,"
You'll only be wandering blind.
Just more questions.
Different kind.

Where are we to go?
Where are we ever to go?

Running away- we'll do it.
Why sit around, resigned?
Trouble is, son,
The farther you run,
The more you feel undefined
For what you've left undone
And, more, what you've left behind.

We disappoint,
We leave a mess,
We die but we don't...

BAKER
We disappoint
In turn, I guess.
Forget, though, we won't...

BOTH
Like father, like son.

BAKER
No more giants
Waging war.
Can't we just pursue out lives
With our children and our wives?
'Till that happy day arrives,
How do you ignore
All the witches,
All the curses,
All the wolves, all the lies,
The false hopes, the goodbyes,
The reverses,
All the wondering what even worse is
Still in store?

All the children...
All the giants...
No more.

NO ONE IS ALONE

CINDERELLA
Mother cannot guide you.
Now you're on you're own.
Only me beside you.
Still, you're not alone.
No one is alone, truly.
No one is alone.

Sometimes people leave you
halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you.
You decide what's good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
I wish...

CINDERELLA
I know...
Mother isn't here now.

BAKER
Wrong things, right things...

CINDERELLA
Who knows what she'd say?

BAKER
Who can say what's true?

CINDERELLA
Nothing's quite so clear now-

BAKER
Do things, fight things...

CINDERELLA
Feel you've lost your way?

BAKER
You decide, but

CINDERELLA
You are not alone,
Believe me.
No one is alone.

BAKER
No one is alone,
Believe me.

CINDERELLA
Truly...

BOTH
You move just a finger,
Say the slightest word,
Something's bound to linger,
Be heard.

BAKER
No one acts alone. Careful, no one is alone.

BOTH
People make mistakes.

BAKER
Fathers,

CINDERELLA
Mothers,

BOTH
People make mistakes,
Holding their own,
Thinking they're alone.

CINDERELLA
Honor their mistakes...

BAKER
Fight for their mistakes-

CINDERELLA
Everybody makes-

BOTH
One another's
Terrible mistakes.
Witches can be right,
Giants can be good.
You decide what's right,
You decide what's good.

CINDERELLA
Just remember: BAKER
Just remember:

BOTH
Someone is on your side.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD & JACK
Our side.

CINDERELLA & BAKER
Our side-
Someone else is not.
While we're seeing our side-

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD & JACK
Our side....

CINDERELLA & BAKER
Our side-

ALL
Maybe we forgot:
They are not alone.
No one is alone.

CINDERELLA
Hard to see the light now.

BAKER
Just don't let it go.

BOTH
Things will come out tight now.
We can make it so.
Someone is on you side,
No one is alone.

FINALE:CHILDREN WILL LISTEN

JACK'S MOTHER
The slotted spoon can catch the potato-

MYSTERIOUS MAN
Every knot was once straight rope.

PRINCES
The harder to wake, the better to have.

STEWARD
The greater the good, the harder the blow...

STEPMOTHER
When going to hide, know how to get there.

CINDERELLA'S FATHER
And how to get back...

FLORINDA & LUCINDA
And eat first...

GRANNY
The knife that is sharp today may be dull by tomorrow...

RAPUNZEL
Ah- ah- ah ah- ah-...

BABY
Waaah!

BAKER
Maybe I just wasn't meant to have children...

BAKER'S WIFE
Don't say that,
Of course you were meant to have children...

BAKER
But how will I go about being a father
with no one to mother my child?

BABY
Waaah!

BAKER'S WIFE
Just calm the child.

BAKER
Yes, calm the child.

BAKER'S WIFE
Look, tell him the story
Of how it all happened.
Be father and mother,
You'll know what to do.

BAKER
Alone?...

BAKER'S WIFE
Sometimes people leave you
halfway through the wood.
Do not let it grieve you,
No one leaves for good.
You are not alone.
No one is alone.

Hold him to the light now,
Let him see the glow.
Things will be all right now.
Tell him what you know...

BABY
Waaah!

BAKER
Shhh. Once upon a time... in a far-off kingdom...
there lived a young maiden... a sad young lad...
amd a childless baker... with his wife...

WITCH
Careful the things you say,
Children will listen.
Careful the things you do,
Children will see.
And learn.

Children may not obey,
But children will listen.
Children will look to you
For which way to turn,
To learn what to be.

Careful before you say,
"Listen to me."
Children will listen.

ALL
Careful the wish you make,
Wishes are children.
Careful the path they take-
Wishes come true,
Not free.

Careful the spell you cast,
Not just on children.
Sometimes the spell may last
Past what you see
And turn against you...

WITCH
Careful the tale you tell.
That is the spell.
Children will listen...

ALL (In 3 groups)
Though it's fearful,
Though it's deep, though it's dark
And though you may lose the path,
Though you may encounter wolves,
You can't just act,
You have to listen.
You can't just act
You have to think.

Though it's dark,
There are always wolves,
There are always spells,
There are always beans,
Or a Giant dwells there.

So it's
Into the woods
You go again,
You have to
Every now and then.
Into the woods,
No telling when,
Be ready for the journey.

Into the woods,
But not too fast
Or what you wish
You lose at last.
Into the woods, but mind the past.
Into the woods, but mind the future.
Into the woods, but not to stray,
Or tempt the Wolf or steal from the Giant-
The way is dark,
The light is dim,
But now there's you,
Me, her and him.
The chances look small,
The choices look grim,
But everything you learn there
Will help when you return there.

BAKER, CINDERELLA, LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, JACK
The light is getting dimmer-

BAKER
I think I see a glimmer-

ALL
Into the woods-
You have to grope,
But that's the way
You learn to cope.
Into the woods
To find there's hope
Of getting through the journey.

Into the woods-
Each time you go,
There's more to learn
Of what you know.
Into the woods, but not too slow-
Into the woods, it's nearing midnight-
Into the woods to mind the Wolf,
To heed the Witch,
To honor the Giant,
To mind,
To heed,
To find,
To think,
To teach,
To join,
To go to the Festival!

Into the woods,
Into the woods,
Into the woods,
Then put of the woods
And happy ever after!

CINDERELLA
... I wish...